Remembering.

Omaha Beach, Normandy, France.

Our family had the opportunity to visit the Normandy region of France recently. This was something we definitely wanted to do while here in Germany. Hub is a major history buff, especially of military history, and one of his favorite parts of living in Europe is the chance to visit some of the sites he has read about. It is always a fun family trip, but also very somber, and my sweet husband becomes quite serious and gets choked up standing in these places where so many lives were sacrificed.

Utah Beach, Normandy, France

Pointe du Hoc, Normandy, France.

While in Normandy, we visited Omaha and Utah Beaches, and Pointe du Hoc. We also visited the Normandy American Cemetery, which contains the graves of 9,387 American military members, most of whom lost their lives in the D-Day operations, and a memorial wall with the names of 1,557 missing.

  

Looking out over Omaha Beach to the English Channel.

Before we went into the cemetery, we told our children that it was a place where we needed to show reverence. As we were walking on one of the beautiful paths, we came near a fork. My three-year-old whispered, "Mommy, I want to tell you a secret." So I bent my head to his ear, and he whispered, "Mommy, there are two pathways." I whispered that he was right about that, and then we kept walking toward the part of the cemetery where all the graves are located. As we walked, what my little boy said lingered in my mind and caused me to think about the choices that we have in life. We have many choices, but I think they can pretty much all be placed on one of two paths... the path of remembering and the path of forgetting. We either remember the past and learn from it enough to come to a resolution, and have it make a positive impact in our lives; or we forget it and lose the opportunity to have those important lessons shape us. This is true on a personal level, with our own life experiences, and also on a societal level, with the experiences of people throughout history.

"To these we owe the high resolve that the cause for which they died shall live."

With both Veterans Day and the presidential election nearing, I was thinking about the freedom that we have to help choose the person that leads our country, and the many who have sacrificed their lives in order to preserve that freedom. Politics and politicians can be very irritating, to say the least. Whenever presidential election season comes around, I hear a lot of people say that they are not happy with either candidate. I totally get that. I always agree with one candidate on some issues, but the other candidate on other issues. Sometimes I like one candidate more as a person, but think the other would make a better president. And then there is all the negative and immature behavior of politicians and everyone else toward people who disagree with them. It's enough to make me want to just forget about it and ignore the political process. And with our high-tech lifestyle these days, it's easy to distract ourselves and live in our own little world. It's easy to choose the path of forgetting. But, if I forget about it, I'm also forgetting about all those who sacrificed to make it possible for me to have the right to be involved in the political process. I'm forgetting the lessons of the past, when people didn't have the choices we have.

I hear people sometimes say that they are not going to vote because they aren't happy with either candidate and they want to send that message. The problem is, when people don't vote, it reflects apathy, rather than dissatisfaction. If you are like me, and don't just stick with one party or the other, it can be very hard to decide who to vote for. So, when I believe that both candidates are good people, I vote on the issues. I usually have to narrow it down to one issue that I believe is the most important one at the current time and vote for the candidate that I believe will best handle that issue.

I hope that we can somehow get the message to politicians that we don't like their negative campaigns and we would really appreciate some good old-fashioned honesty, but let's do it by being involved and remembering the sacrifices that have been made to keep us free, not by giving up in frustration.

And let's also teach our children to remember.

 The Allied forces in Normandy were fighting to liberate France from Hitler, who was seeking to build an empire by stomping out the liberty of millions of people. Because of their sacrifices, France and the rest of Europe are now free, and American liberty was also preserved. I like to think that as we and others stood somberly on Omaha Beach, but also smiled, laughed and played with our kids, there were some spirits of the past watching and witnessing evidence that all they gave made a tremendous difference, not just in the large scale course of history, but in individual lives. And that they see, in the faces of children, a future that will be blessed by the lessons learned from the past and freedoms preserved by those who lived in it. I hope they see a generation of people that will choose to remember.

6 Months Ago...

 this was my baby boy. 

Well, this was me... but obviously, baby boy was there too. 

When I took this picture, I was very ready to hold my baby in my arms instead of in my belly. And a couple of days later, that is exactly what I got to do. And since that day, our life has been very topsy-turvy, but so full of happiness. It is amazing to me how love is something that you just don't run out of. Our baby boy is our fourth child, and with each new addition to our family, my heart gets a new addition of love. I guess that's why, even though our life just seems to be getting more and more challenging, it is also getting more and more joyful.

 This is my baby boy now. I love that happy smile. It adds such delight to my day.

And there are so many more little delights that come to mind as I think over the past six months. Like baby boy nestling into my neck and sleeping (that stage was over too soon *sniff*)... the sound of his little grunts and squeaks when he's waking up... listening to his soft breathing as he sleeps next to me (sometimes that seems to be the only way he'll sleep)... hearing his happy gurgles and coos from his bed after he wakes up from a good nap (good naps don't happen often around here, but happy gurgles and coos still do)... seeing him watch and listen to his sister and brothers and then seeing his huge grin when they look at him or talk to him... breathing in his fresh milky scent... feeling his soft little hand wrapped around my finger as he falls asleep while I'm holding him... listening to his big baby belly laughs when I take off his onesies, or tickle his neck or armpits... watching him fall asleep in his daddy's arms while they listen to music... seeing him try to figure out how to work those little hands and grab a toy... feeling his little gums chomping on my shoulder... hearing his sister and brothers laugh at the cute things he does... having him in his swing or baby carrier, keeping me company in the kitchen while I cook or wash dishes... seeing his face light up whenever I look at him, unless he's hungry, bored, or tired. Then he fusses if I look at him, but even that is a delight, because it lets me know that he needs me and I can help him feel better soon. 

I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I love being a mom! I feel incredibly blessed to be a mom. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done, but it's worth every second of sleep deprivation and all that other hard parenting stuff. I don't always feel my love for parenting in those difficult moments, but at times like these, when I can reflect on my deeper emotions, all the blissfulness of motherhood comes bubbling to the surface.

Coming Home

As the last of the troops come home from Iraq, I have been thinking a lot about the Iraq war and the impact it has had... on the world, on the Iraqi people, on the military, on our family, and on my husband (who also happens to be my hero, by the way). We all know there is plenty of debate surrounding our country's involvement over there, and I don't want to get into that... we've heard it all before. That's not to say, however, that we should ignore the issues surrounding our involvement there. It's important to learn from past experience. But, I hope that all the debate and division regarding Iraq will not be the only memory people have of our years there.

I hope that people will remember that although the troops are home, it is not over. It is not over for many of the troops and it is not over for the people of Iraq. The injured and the families of the fallen still carry this war with them everyday.

I hope that people remember that while the rest of the world may have been obsessed with politics, most of the troops were just trying to do their part to turn a bad situation into something good... or at least not so bad, and to keep each other and innocent Iraqis safe. Hub's deployment was during a time when the violence in Iraq was really bad, right before the troop surge. It was all over the news with constant debates about pulling the troops out, or adding more. While he was there, people often asked me what he thought about our involvement there. When I'd ask hub that question, he'd say, "Whether or not we should have come in the first place, it's a good thing we're here now."

Most of all, I hope that people will remember that America is still good, that most people all over the world are still good, and that war isn't. But sometimes, there are reasons why we should fight, and it's good to know that there are still people out there who are willing to sacrifice to preserve what is good. In fact, I think that most people are willing to do that, given the right circumstances. In an ideal world, we would only go to war for the right reasons. We don't live in an ideal world, but I hope that people will still remember to believe in the potential of humanity.

As I was trying to figure out how to put my feelings about all of this into words, I remembered a song that hub listened to while he was over there. It think it does a great job of capturing the spirit of sacrifice that I hope will not be forgotten... and the feeling that we are all in this together.

Sandstorm in Iraq.

I will drink the cup, the poison overflowing.

I will lift you up, watch over where you're going.

The first one in, the last one gone.

I'll be the rock to stand upon.

For you.

Hub in Iraq.

My spirit aches and I can't stop this river flowing.

In fear I take each labored breath I draw in knowing

That this could be my last, my final hour.

But faith and hope and love give me the power...

Together at last!

For you.

Visiting the grave of Hub's friend.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil for you are with me.

You are with me.

I'll be your salvation, though the storm's surrounding.

There on our own conditions, lay my body down. 

In the wake abandon willing sacrifice.

I'll walk through the canyon, bring the shadows life.

For you.

Song lyrics: For You from the We Were Soldiers soundtrack.
By the way, Johnny Cash and Dave Matthews sing the song together. Can't go wrong with Johnny Cash. :)

The Boys

Big Boy, Little Boy, Baby Boy.

Sometimes, I can hardly believe that I have three boys. I'm so proud of my big boy for being such a good brother. He plays so well with my little boy, and he loves my baby boy so much. He's so interested in everything baby boy does. Whenever he catches him awake, he talks to him and shows him toys, or reads to him... just like he's doing in the picture. My little boy also loves his baby brother and shows it by always wanting to give him kisses, and saying things like, "He wuvs me, and I wuv him!" I just love my boys, and I sure hope they always stay such good buddies.

Two Months...

seems more like two weeks... and forever.

It's already been two months since our baby boy was born. I think it's been the fastest two months of my life. When my third baby was born, I felt like the months following his birth were the fastest of my life. With each additional child added to our family, the time just seems to be passing more quickly. But even though the time since having this sweet baby boy enter our lives has flown by, it seems like I've known him for an eternity. I have a hard time remembering what it felt like to only know three of our children, rather than four. It just feels like he's always been part of our family.

I'm sure that the reason time seems to be passing more and more quickly is because we just keep getting busier. I'm not sure how this happens, but even though two months seems like just two weeks, one day can seem like forever sometimes. I must admit, I have moments when I dream about the days when my kids will be all grown-up, and my house will be as clean as I want it to be, and I'll be able to do whatever I want or need to do without interruption, and do all those things that just seem too hard to do while raising young children.

But when I imagine that future clean and organized home and life, I am very much aware that I am really going to miss all those little dinosaurs, ponies and cheerios strewn all over the place. I'll miss the sticky hands and chins to clean. I'll miss the little hugging arms. I'll miss the noise... because with all those cries, whines, and yells come laughter, singing and cute conversations, so yup, I'll even miss the noise. Adding a fourth child has not been a huge adjustment, but it does mean more to do throughout the day... one more mouth to feed, more diapers to change, more messes to clean, more noise, and more hair pulled out... but also more joy.

On the surface, our life seems messy, loud and stressful. But just a little deeper, there is something else. And I'm the lucky girl that gets to feel it, even among all the chaos. It's not always easy to find, but if I just remember to try, I can always find it. It's a feeling of serenity and love, that despite the speed of the passing time, is eternal. Our life may look like a mess, but in that mess there is bliss.
Blessed bliss.

The good things in life...

are all around me.

We had a great weekend, filled with swimming, picnicking, pedal boating, carousel riding, flammkuchen eating, and just enjoying life. Hub also had to squeeze in writing a research paper, but even that was a good thing because it was the last thing he needed to do to finish up a very difficult and time consuming class he was taking. 

We are now very much anticipating the possible arrival of our baby boy this week. He has been breech or transverse (he switches between the two) since the nurse-midwife first checked his position at 32 weeks. He was head down for a short time at 37 weeks. He turned just in time to avoid an external cephalic version. I guess once he felt like the danger had passed, he decided to move back into his comfort zone because a couple of days later he was no longer head down. At 38 weeks, the doctor and I agreed that we should schedule another ECV, and if it is successful, induce labor so that the little guy will be born before he turns himself the wrong way again. So that is happening this week. In a way it's hard to have this much control over my baby's birth. Whatever the outcome is, I feel like I am fully responsible. Not that I am anticipating a negative outcome, but I just know that inductions sometimes lead to more complicated births. But after much thought about all the options, I feel like this is probably the best way to go. But the first step is to do the version and see if it works or not. It would be nice if the baby boy would once again decide that he'd like to avoid that procedure and turn head down on his own. :)

I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful family and a beautiful world all around me. I'm so thankful for every moment that we get to spend together. I'm so thankful to have a new little one joining our family soon. I know that it is not something to take for granted. I know that life is about to get a little busier and stressful, but my goal is to continue to recognize the good things in life that are all around me everyday... every moment.

Just one of the reasons I love my mom...

She's so fun. She comes up with such fun things to do with the kids... like what they did after she got home from work the other day. She went outside with a container of water and asked my little boy if he wanted to make dandelions curl. Pretty soon the older two came over and for the next little while I heard lots of laughing and excited little kid voices in the backyard. They had such a good time splitting the dandelion stems, then putting them in the water to make them curl up. My boy was so excited to show me "this teeny tiny" that he was holding in his little hand. I'm sure that the first time they got to make dandelion stems curl will be a fun memory and something they'll want to do again and again.

We've been very blessed to have my mom living with us since last fall. She's been a big help with homeschooling. She makes up fun worksheets for the kids, and also bought a workbook for each of them to work on in the evenings when she is home. She calls it "Grammy School," and the kids really look forward to it. Hub and I have also been able to have plenty of date nights, and even went on an overnight trip to celebrate our anniversary. The kids had such a fun time with my mom while we were gone. They went to the park in our village with some sand toys and played in the sand for hours. My girl started finding nails in the sand, and she and my mom kept looking and ended up finding 26 rusty nails in that sandbox! The park is a much safer place now because of my mom and my girl. :)

 My girl has been telling me about it over and over again ever since. I know that they made a memory that day that she will cherish for a long time.

I couldn't ask for a better mom, and am so thankful that my kids are able to know her too!

Pets

The kids, especially my girl, just LOVE having pets. My girl can sit and watch them for a long time, and she's always looking out for their well-being. She often says things like, "I think Snowflake wants to get out of her cage. She keeps looking at the door." Or, "It's a pretty warm day. Should we take the pets outside?" Or, "Should we give the pets a carrot? They haven't had any carrots for awhile." I'm so glad to live in a place where we can have these pets. Our landlords don't want us to have a dog or cat, but a bunny and guinea pigs are ok. My girl is so caring and concerned. I think having something to take care of is a really good thing for her. She and my boy each carry a guinea pig whenever we take them outside. My little boy always wants to help too, but I don't think that would end well. :) But before we leave here, he should be old enough to carry them around. Hub and I are looking forward to the day when we can have some chickens and goats, but a bunny and two guinea pigs are a good start.

Society Sundays Blog Hop - Women of Mormondom, Chapter 1

Well, I missed the blog hop, but just wanted to post some of my thoughts on the chapter anyway. Last night, I read for the first time, chapter 1 in Women of Mormondom. It was really interesting to read. It was written in 1877, and I tend to like reading old books, so that was fun. If not for the old fashioned language, it would have been easy to believe that the book was written today. The characteristics that the author attributes to the Mormon women of the time are, I think, fitting of what many modern women wish to posses. As I read the chapter, the idea of the Mormon woman that I formed in my mind was -- a strong, courageous, devoted, and in no way inferior to men -- woman of vision. I'll just share some of my favorite quotes from the chapter.

Fuller of romance than works of fiction are the lives of Mormon women. so strange and thrilling is their story, --so rare in its elements of experience, --that neither history nor fable affords a perfect example; yet is it a reality of our own times.

Women with new types of character, antique rather than modern; themselves ancient, but transposed to our latter-day experience.

Let us view them purely as prophetic women...

This was written about Mormon women in the earlier days of the church, and those words serve as a great reminder to me of the heritage that I possess as a Mormon woman. But I also realized that, although written about women who lived over 100 years ago, those words can also apply to women of today. Even in these modern times, it's easy to forget how strong and wise we women actually can be. How refreshing to be reminded of that by words written by a man over a century ago.

Studying LDS Women's History

I just came upon Society Sunday and I'm really excited to take some time to focus on the history of Latter-day Saint women (especially as Mother's Day approaches, and this year as The Relief Society studies it's own history through the visiting teaching messages), and participate in the blog hop. I just finished reading Chapter 1 of Women of Mormondom and it was really interesting. Hopefully, tomorrow night I can carve out some time to write some thoughts about what I read.

Our lovely friends are back.

Now that it's spring our house seems to be getting more crowded. Of course, the kids spend a lot more time outside so that helps. But despite the fact that much of the kids' daily activity has moved outdoors, our house seems to be getting more and more filled with the activity of creatures that, although much smaller than the children, are more great in number... and more creepy-crawly. We have bees and flies coming in through the windows (there are no screens on most windows here in Germany, and even if there were, our back door is wide open most of the afternoon so it wouldn't really matter), and other little bugs that I cannot identify. But these giant brown spiders are easily recognizable and cannot be missed because of their ridiculously huge size. After a winter of not seeing any of these gargantuan spiders that I posted about last fall, they have started coming to visit again. 

They were not invited. 

Hub just got back from three weeks of training, and right after he left is when these huge (okay, spider-size, but still huge) and creepy friends started making themselves known. I was so brave. Every time I saw one that was not too high to reach, I calmly went to get my trusty cup and piece of cardstock, trapped the spider under the cup, slid the cardstock between the wall and the cup, serenely walked to the door, and threw the spider outside. They're actually really easy to catch, and as I mentioned in the post last fall, I feel kind of bad about killing the harmless, but creepy little (enormous) guys. And trust me, you would NOT want to clean up after a squishing incident involving one of these things.

So to get to the point (finally), I'm proud to say that I am no longer afraid of these unwanted house guests. In fact, I may have even missed my little buddies a little bit over the winter... On second thought, that's going way to far. But I'm very happy that it's spring, and if spring means sharing my home with these oh so lovely friends, then I'll take it.

But they WILL keep letting me catch them and take them outside, without putting up a fight, if they know what's good for them.

A Full Heart and a New Year

I was just going through some of the old posts on our family blog (I'm trying to decide how best to continue preserving and sharing family pictures with our family and friends), and I ended up reading a bunch of posts from when my little girl was just a toddler, and my boy was in my belly... and then a baby. And my eyes welled up with tears... I suppose that's bound to happen when I'm very tired and should be asleep, but am looking at baby pictures instead... I should know better by now. :)

Then I came back to the more recent posts, and I saw pictures of my beautiful children as they are now, along with my baby boy, who obviously wasn't in any of the older pictures. And my heart filled with joy. My eyes are still wet with tears, but that's okay. It's okay to shed a few tears of sadness for the time that has passed, as long as we also shed a few (more) tears of joy for what has filled all that time, and for the present and the future.

I'm beginning this new year with a full heart, and I plan to keep it that way. I have a renewed motivation to try to live every moment as if it means something (because it does), and to focus on the truly important things in life. This is very hard to do. Time just seems to move faster and faster every year, and it's so easy to get caught up in things that keep us busy and put them ahead of the things that really matter in the end. Is it really that important that we make it to gymnastics on time? Or is it more important that I stay patient, stop nagging my boy to get his seat belt buckled or we're going to be late, and instead take a little extra time, smile, and say something positive. I know it may sound idealistic and all, and I know that I will have many moments where I lose my focus, and go back to being all hustled and bustled for no really good reason, but I'm going to try harder... because I want to see life clearly. I want to see my childrens' and husband's (and everyone else's too) faces clearly, hear their laughs and words clearly, see their spirits clearly. I don't want life to pass by in a blur. I know that it's an impossible task to a certain extent... I think that life will do that at times anyway... but at least I'll know I tried, and it will be worth it.

And now I better got to bed before I hit the point of no return. Happy New Year!

Gone are the days...

the warm ones, that is.

Goodbye soft, warm grass.

Hello Jack Frost.

Chips Are Good.

I have been craving chips. I was at the store the other day, and I don't know what came over me, but I left with several bags of chips - Kettle Brand Chili Lime flavored tortilla chips, Boulder Canyon Jalapeno Cheddar Potato Chips, and Good Health Natural Foods Veggie Stix (which sound healthy, but really aren't). You may be able to see from the picture that all three of these bags are almost empty, which means that I have been eating a lot of chips. It's kind of pathetic. I really have better things to be doing after the kids go to bed than eating chips. I also have better things to be doing than writing a blog post about all my chip eating, but since it's a Saturday, Hub is in the States, my baby boy is down for a nap, the older two are playing with blocks, and I told my soon-to-be-famous sister-in-law that I would spread the word about her awesome blog, I figure I might as well take this opportunity to do so.

It actually works out really well, because one of her recent posts was about eating chips off of her bathroom floor. I feel better about my recent chip eating extravaganzas because I can honestly say that I have not stooped to the level of eating chips off the bathroom floor. The kitchen floor maybe, but not the bathroom. I do have a four year old boy, after all.

Anyway, If you have not yet discovered the awesomeness that is Challosh, you've got to go check it out. Challis writes posts that will just make you laugh... and laugh... and laugh some more. And because she dreams of a world where admitting to the entire online community that you eat chips off of your bathroom floor provides a better living than practicing law, she has a goal to become famous. And when she does, you'll want to be able to say that you were a faithful blog reader of Challosh before the writer became rich and famous. Go read her latest post, and all the posts before that. It will brighten your day.

Taking a Break...

... from blogging, at least.

I've fallen behind. I was really looking forward to participating in the Celebrating Families blog hop this month, but life has become more hectic than usual, due to the arrival of our final shipment of stuff. We now have twice as much furniture as we should (ours arrived, and they can't pick up the government furniture until next week), our house is full of partially unpacked boxes, and basically the entire place is a disaster zone. Blogging has to take a back seat for now.

I've also been having lots of fun with my mom since she arrived so blogging has taken a back seat to that too.

But since I'm posting anyway, here are two exciting aspects of today:

1. I accidentally pulled the wrong jeans out of my closet this morning and put them on before I realized they were the jeans that I thought were too small. But they fit. Awesome. Another pair of jeans to wear without having to spend any money.

2. The Man and I are going to see a concert. Hooray for date nights and for my mom for babysitting!

Hopefully I'll be back on track soon. Not that I normally update my blog that often, but I was planning on updating more this month than I usually do.

Celebrate Families Photo Essay Blog Hop

(For more blogs in the blog hop check the link-ups at the bottom of the posts here and here.)

Parents have a sacred responsibility to

rear their children in love and righteousness...

provide for their physical needs...

and spiritual needs...

teach them to love and serve one another...

observe the commandments of God...

and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.

(The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

Highlights of Our Week

*Watching a herd of cattle pass right by us in the park by the lake where our homeschool group met this week. My older boy loves cow's, so this was very much a highlight of his week... his life, actually.

*Talking to my sweet grandma on the phone. It was so great to hear her voice and chat with her for awhile. The kids talked to her too, and she said that talking to them made her day. Well, talking to her made mine.

*Our walk a few mornings ago. We went for a walk on a trail near our house and saw several slugs, goats, cows, and sheep. One goat was particularly friendly and came up to the fence to have a chat when we were passing. When this goat said "BAAAA," it sounded just like a grumpy old man. It was weird... but really funny.

*The disappearance of our trash can. Well, this wasn't a highlight, more like a weirdness. But yesterday we figured out where it went, so no worries. :)

*Four day weekend. Because it's Labor Day weekend, the Man gets today and Monday off. Yay!

*Real Korean food. We found a Korean restaurant and went there for lunch. Oh, how I've missed it. I never thought that kimchi would be a comfort food, but my first bite of kimchi today was oddly comforting. Apparently, Korea really did rub off on my oldest. She liked rice and seaweed and yaki mandu when we lived there, but today she had a little bit of everything... yaki mandu, kimbap, jab chae, bulgogi, and kimchi. My boy stuck with rice and a little kimbap, and the baby had some yaki mandu. YUM!

*Another trip to the park where the herd of cows came through. This time there were no cows, but we did rent a pedal boat and saw plenty of ducks.

*Getting ready for my mom to come. It has really sunk in this week that my mom is going to be here soon. I'm so excited! She'll be staying for awhile to get some training for her new profession. Wish my dad was going to be here too, but we'll definitely be looking forward to his visit, and love having my mom stay with us!

Looking forward to a fun weekend!

Perspective

My baby likes to keep his perspective fresh... well, fresh in one sense of the word. That's one of the best things about being little... the world is just full of joy and discovery, and you're never too lazy or too focused on more important things to find it. Something as simple as looking at things from upside-down can make your day.

Somewhere along the way, we start to struggle with keeping our perspective fresh and in line. We become distracted with too many 'important' things. We become detached from the real, simple, true, beautiful life in us and all around us. 

I've decided that anytime I need a fresh perspective, or a perspective adjustment, I just need to look to my kids' examples. They have it right most of the time. They see the world the way it should be seen. They are more in-tune to the most important parts of reality, even when they are swept up in an imaginary world that they've created. They are a reminder of the potential we have in us to see the world the way we should and live our lives accordingly. It's there, in all of us, even if we've lost sight of it.

 Thanks for the reminder, baby boy.

No Supermom...

But it's super to be a mom.

So it's only Tuesday, but it's been a bit of a rough week. My baby is sick again (throwing-up and that other bodily function that often accompanies throwing-up... I have a funny, but very gross story about that, but I'll save it for another time), my kids have just been grumpy, and I just haven't been feeling like I deserve a gold star for my parenting lately.

I've been spending some time the past couple of days perusing through other blogs, especially home schoolers' blogs trying to get some inspiration and ideas to use in our home. Well, there are a lot of pretty awesome moms out there, and they are wonderful examples to me. I mean, I've come across moms who write books, paint, sew, craft, bake, garden, speak to their congressmen, run their own businesses, and somehow find the time to update their blogs regularly, all while homeschooling their 3, 4, 5, or 8 children. Some do a few of those things, and some do almost all of them. I can't help but wonder if I missed the memo on the secret to creating more time. I feel like I'm doing pretty good if I just get a healthy dinner on the table for five days in a row.

The thing is, I know that these other moms don't have a magic trick for creating more time, so then I come to the conclusion that my lazy streak must be even worse than I thought. I know that it is pointless to compare ourselves to others, and I really try to not do that, but sometimes it's hard to not do that just a teeny little bit. I guess that is one of things we need to be careful of when it comes to looking to each other for inspiration. If it starts to feel like a competition, then something is wrong.

Anyway, I just saw this video this morning, and it has really realigned my perspective, and I know that today will be a great day. I'm so thankful for my faith, and the words spoken in this video.

The Baby-Monster Whisperers

Oh, what a morning. This is the story of how my baby's and my day started.

The kids and I sat down for breakfast, and I realized that all I really had to feed them was graham crackers. I haven't been feeling very good for the past couple of days so we hadn't walked to the bakery or the market and we were out of everything that my kids would normally eat for breakfast. I would have made pancakes, but they were hungry (especially baby boy), and I didn't think they'd be patient enough to wait for that. So I brought the box of graham crackers and an almost empty box of corn flakes to the table and passed around some crackers. I gave them all cups of milk and then went into the kitchen for some reason.

Just moments later, my baby was fussing so I went to see what else he needed. I figured he had already devoured his crackers and wanted more. However, he still had cracker pieces in front of him and milk in his cup. I couldn't figure out what he wanted and my baby suddenly turned into a monster... a very angry monster. His fusses turned into screams, his hands turned into instruments of destruction, sweeping across the table and hurling everything in their path to the hard, cold floor below. And the crying and angry screams didn't stop. I tried giving him another cracker. That calmed him down at first, but after a bite or two, he turned into the monster again. My little girl suggested that he might want some corn flakes, so I gave him some of those. Seconds later, the helpless little flakes were strewn all over the floor.

They never knew what hit them.

At that point I got my baby out of his booster seat, set him on the floor, and told him no throwing food! The crying and screaming only increased in volume. I tried to give him his cup of milk, but be pushed that away. I tried holding him, but he pushed me away. I tried putting him back in his seat and giving him more to eat, but the destruction of the poor bits of food was replayed. In the meantime, the boy and the girl had finished eating and were (thank goodness) playing nicely upstairs.

My baby boy cried and screamed, and soon I found that I was having a good cry myself. Maybe it was the fact that I'd been feeling a little under the weather. Maybe it was a little bit of the loneliness of being in a new place. Maybe it was the little bit of stress that comes with trying to establish a home and a routine again. Maybe it was just frustration from not knowing what baby boy wanted. I really don't know. I have no reason to cry. I guess it was just one of those days. The whole situation is pretty funny in retrospect.

Anyway, I soon realized that what we needed was some music... something calm in this emotionally charged situation. So I found one of my favorite YouTube videos. It worked. After listening to the beautiful music, I felt better. My baby boy calmed down too. I was then ready to face the mess of crackers and cornflakes covering the floor under the table. My baby happily toddled around while I swept, but soon discovered the pile of food that I was sweeping into, and decided that he did want to eat it after all. I glanced down in time to see him about to stuff a handful of cornflakes into his mouth. The handful also contained a piece of thread, some hairs, and who knows what other nastiness, so I quickly reached down to stop him from getting it into his mouth.

And that's when I accidentally jabbed my thumb into his face.

He exploded into tears, and we started all over again. But, this time I had the remedy all ready to go. I turned the music on again, danced with baby boy, and he was happy within a couple of minutes.

I still don't know why he got so upset. I've never seen him so mad for so long before. Maybe an early onset case of the terrible two's? Teething? Whatever the reason, I'm glad that Iron and Wine and Calexico could soothe his whine... and mine.


p.s. Iron and Wine and Calexico are going to be in Germany in a couple of months. We're really hoping to be able to go see them. We don't know any babysitters yet, but I think we should be able to find one by then... unless we can't find anyone willing to face the challenge of our little baby-monster, in which case we could probably just take him with us, since I know he likes the music. :)