January 5, 2011

A Full Heart and a New Year

I was just going through some of the old posts on our family blog (I'm trying to decide how best to continue preserving and sharing family pictures with our family and friends), and I ended up reading a bunch of posts from when my little girl was just a toddler, and my boy was in my belly... and then a baby. And my eyes welled up with tears... I suppose that's bound to happen when I'm very tired and should be asleep, but am looking at baby pictures instead... I should know better by now. :)

Then I came back to the more recent posts, and I saw pictures of my beautiful children as they are now, along with my baby boy, who obviously wasn't in any of the older pictures. And my heart filled with joy. My eyes are still wet with tears, but that's okay. It's okay to shed a few tears of sadness for the time that has passed, as long as we also shed a few (more) tears of joy for what has filled all that time, and for the present and the future.

I'm beginning this new year with a full heart, and I plan to keep it that way. I have a renewed motivation to try to live every moment as if it means something (because it does), and to focus on the truly important things in life. This is very hard to do. Time just seems to move faster and faster every year, and it's so easy to get caught up in things that keep us busy and put them ahead of the things that really matter in the end. Is it really that important that we make it to gymnastics on time? Or is it more important that I stay patient, stop nagging my boy to get his seat belt buckled or we're going to be late, and instead take a little extra time, smile, and say something positive. I know it may sound idealistic and all, and I know that I will have many moments where I lose my focus, and go back to being all hustled and bustled for no really good reason, but I'm going to try harder... because I want to see life clearly. I want to see my childrens' and husband's (and everyone else's too) faces clearly, hear their laughs and words clearly, see their spirits clearly. I don't want life to pass by in a blur. I know that it's an impossible task to a certain extent... I think that life will do that at times anyway... but at least I'll know I tried, and it will be worth it.

And now I better got to bed before I hit the point of no return. Happy New Year!


  1. If it makes you feel any better, sometimes I cry when I look at old (relatively speaking) pictures of your kids as well. We have some from back in 2004 (when she was born) with all of us at the hospital and...yeah.

  2. I like this new perspective on life! You've inspired me to do the same. It's funny how busy we think we are sometimes. I'll never forget my neice's response when I told her we were going to be late for church if she didn't stop telling knock knock jokes...she stopped and looked at me and said, "What? We don't even have time to laugh?" That's always stuck with me :)

  3. Millie, I love that!!! Think about it ... if when your children are grown, they can look back on their youth and remember mostly how filled with laughter their lives were; what better legacy than that could you give them?! A legacy of joy and happiness, or one of punctuality ... pretty easy perspective to keep, huh! (not so easy to actually implement but well worth continuing to try!) Judy

    Great plan, Shay, for a new year's resolution! You're so good at seeing what's important and what isn't! Good reminder to me. Mom